Some tell me that I’m an optimist, others call me a realist but I was rarely called a pessimist. I know what I want, where I’m going and I try to reach my goals, regardless of what they are. The thing is that I see everything this way. I see things as they are, I don’t try to control anything and pretend that everything is ok when it’s not. And it works both ways because if there’s anything awesome happening then I don’t try to see it any less. And for a while now I’ve been able to be happy because of a rainbow even! I’m not a type of a person who will say “other have worse” in case I have a problem because if I have one then it’s mine and others, who I don’t even know” aren’t in my mind at that time. Also, I don’t like when others tell me that they realized their problems aren’t important because mine are bigger. Your problems are your problems and they’re the most important for you and the fact that I have different ones… well, everyone has some. And that’s why I had no issue with writing that post about offensive comments I get even though it’s obviously less of them than others. It’s not seeing myself as a victim or looking for problems, or anything like that. Those are facts.
Recently I received an email from one of my readers who said something that made a whole lot of sense to me.
(…) I want to refer to comments under the last post. One of the commentators said that “she sees a glass half full”, meaning that you can see the world like this too, or even you should! (ahh, where do people get this need to instructing and preaching from?)
And I think – though my interpretation doesn’t have to be true – that you don’t see a glass half full or half empty. You just see a glass with water.
This is how it is in my case! After I saw how life can surprise… You know, my sister’s death, my genetic mutation, mastectomy and all that stuff happening in last year madam think that I need and want to live here and now. Not in the future or in the past but now, today, this minute – because tomorrow everything can happen.
If at a certain moment I’m sad then I’m sad and if 10 minutes later something makes me laugh, I laugh. When I see squirrels chasing each other I smile and I feel sad when I see a crying chid. If someone irritates me with something I’ll confront this person instead of keeping everything inside and pretending that it’s all good. I can’t do it anymore and I’m glad because I don’t think it’s good. It’s not. I don’t like and can’t lying to myself. And I have no problem with that :).
I’ll see you next time,
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