7 wedding myths that you don’t have to follow

As a lot of you know me and Nathan got married on February 22, 2015 which means almost two years ago. And since there’s the Valentine’s Day that we don’t even celebrate and we’ll celebrate our second anniversary I decided to go back to this topic for a little bit. This time I’ll talk about some most popular opinions about organizing weddings which come from Poland and which I think aren’t necessary to keep at all. I’m talking here about my opinions and experiences. I understand that you might have other ones and you don’t have to agree with what I’m saying which is fine.

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  1. A groom can’t see his loved one before their ceremony

This is one of the biggest superstition about weddings that I’ve ever heard. They say that when a groom sees a bride before the wedding it’ll bring bad luck and there are women who really panic when that happens. I understand that people believe in different things and some are superstitious but in my opinion it doesn’t matter when a man sees a women in her wedding gown. If someone wants to do that and it’s having fun for them at the same time it’s all good but the problem comes when it becomes very stressful. In our case we didn’t pay attention to that and even though the whole thing – me in my dress, makeup and hair – was seen by Nathan right before the ceremony, we chose my dress together. It was also about the fact that I didn’t have anyone to ask for this then but even if I did I’d have no problems with having Nathan there too.

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  1. Reception means alcohol

It’s surprising how many people think that if you organize a wedding you have to have alcohol and that’s it. There’s no party without a vodka because you need to relax, have a good time and celebrate. I think it’s sad that someone needs alcohol to have fun… But this is a different subject. Wedding itself is a great reason to celebrate and in my opinion there’s no need to have alcohol to motivate to having fun. People say that there’s always this one uncle who gets drunk and who nobody wants to hang out with… I really wanted to avoid a situation like this because to me it’s not funny and impressive at all. When we planned our wedding our diet was different so we had some champagne. We had it for a toast and each one of our guests got one glass and that was it. We didn’t see any need to order more alcohol, we thought that was enough and nobody cared, nobody had any problem with that. And I think it’s the same with food. I believe that if a couple is vegetarian or even vegan and they don’t want to have meat or/and dairy at their wedding because it’s against their believes and so on, they obviously can have a menu that won’t contain things they don’t want. And guests, even meat eaters, will survive a few hours with no meat. And the same with people not eating for example gluten, fish, fried things, etc.

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  1. It’s important to have “r” in a name of the month you get married in

This is one of the biggest things I’ve heard – you have to have the letter “r” in the name of the month. Otherwise you’ll have a bad luck and your future child won’t be able to pronounce r. I understand that each person believes in different things and there are those who prefer to be safe and if they got married in May they’d live in distress that this bad luck will come soon. And May is supposedly the worst month because none of the translations of this word has “r” in it which means a total disaster. The most popular month that couples choose is August. We got married in February but it didn’t matter to us if the month has R in the name or not.

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  1. It’s not a read wedding if you have less than 200 guests and it lasts less than the whole night

In Poland it’s very common to do huge weddings that are planned for two years before with hundreds of guests. Of course, you all can do that if you want to. However, I know there are people who don’t want to do that but they let other convince them that it’s how it should be and those are usually parents or other close family members, especially the older ones. So I’m telling you no, it doesn’t have to be this way! It’s your wedding and you decide about the number of guests you’ll have and how long it’ll be. If you want to have a reception for 50 people, do it. If you want to have a dinner for your parents, grandparents and witnesses – great! If someone doesn’t like it it’s not your problem. We had dinner and people stayed for around 3-4 hours, you can see in the photo below who came (some didn’t make it). Small and very, very special.

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  1. Civil marriage has no atmosphere 

I read it a lot of times that wedding not in a church aren’t real. And it wasn’t about religion at all, it was about that civil weddings have no atmosphere, they’re not special, there’s no white wedding gown and so on. And I’m asking – why says? When you decide to have a civil marriage you can have everything what others have or even more and if you’re not religious there’s no point to go to a church to wear a white dress which you can wear in an office too. We had a civil one and it was special. I had a white wedding dress and a veil, decorations and music I wanted (they played “Halo” from Beyonce when I was coming in). What’s awesome is that here in Georgia people can get married wherever they want and some people go to an office but others do it at homes, in parks, on beaches and wherever they want. So you can have whatever you want! We got married at the same place where we stayed for our dinner, it was a very popular spot here in the area. We had our own vows that we created. Decorations I picked myself and everything else looked how we wanted and the way we could manage during one week because this is how much it took to organize everything.

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  1. “We have to invite a grandmother’s sister’s aunt because she’ll resent us…” or “they invited us so we have to invite them”

I think that since it’s your wedding you decide who you want to invite. If you don’t want to invite an aunt who you saw 10 years ago last time, don’t do it. If she gets resentful, too bad, you won’t kill yourself because of that. And if someone really wishes you well they’ll be happy with you and they’ll understand that you don’t want to invite everyone around. But if you can’t get over it you can always invite some people to your place for a dinner afterwards. The same applies to people who invite you for their birthdays or weddings. Their invitations don’t contain any note like “we’re inviting you so you have to invite us” so I personally don’t feel obligated to repay this way which is an invitation for an invitation. You know, I’m not saying you shouldn’t invite your whole family if you want to. What I mean is that if you don’t want to have that uncle, grandfather, grandma’s sister’s aunt or even your brother because you don’t keep in touch or you don’t like each other or for any other reason – you don’t have to do that just because it’s your “family”. I really think that your wedding should be done the way you want so that you feel comfortable. After my wedding I got a comment that made me laugh out loud. It was one of my cousins who I last talked when I was like 13 years old and who resented me for not inviting her for our wedding. Seriously?!

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  1. Wedding is very expensive

This is one of the things I don’t understand – getting a loan for weddings. And I’m not talking about like a thousand or three thousands dollars that you can pay off relatively quickly. I’m talking about big loans that people keep paying off for 30 years. For one night! I personally think that if someone doesn’t have money for a big wedding and really want to have it it’s better to wait and save money. Or make lists with pros and cons and maybe you’ll realize that you prefer to have an awesome honeymoon instead? The other thing is that there are some things you can organize by yourself. If you or your parents have a house with enough space in our outside why not to organize your wedding there? If you don’t invite too many people and you’re good at arts & crafts you can make invitations by yourself. You can also do your own makeup and you can easily find shoes that are cheaper than $500 – the same with jewelry (my necklace cost $14.90). What’s more, you can save a lot of money on alcohol too. You know, there’s a lot of possibilities and I think it’s not worth it to get a big loan that you’ll have to keep paying off for several dozen of years instead of spending it on other things like vacations with kids.

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Is there anything you’d add :)?

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Talk to you next time!

Aga

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glosowanie

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