Prophylactic mastectomy: keep your fingers crossed, it’s today!

Today, Wednesday, I had to be in the hospital at 5:30 am and my surgery was planned for 7:30 and it was supposed to last around 4-5 hours. So when you’re reading it I’m probably during or after the surgery… Depends what time is there. I hope that everything went well and that there was no complications and now I’m resting. There wasn’t too much to do to get ready, I had to remove my nail polish and stop eating from midnight which was pretty easy. I was a comfortable robe, a pillow I’ll show you later, today I want to buy a few button up shirts because I won’t be able to put anything through my head for a while. I also need to buy some sports bra that will keep everything in place later.

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Yesterday I had an appointment during which they injected some liquid that’s supposed to expose sentinel node which will then be removed during the surgery to do a biopsy. This is the first node out there and if it’s not attacked by cancer the rest of them is probably not attacked either because this one is the first one where the cancer comes to (I don’t have a breast cancer almost for sure but we’ll know it for sure after the biopsy). They appear because the lymph nodes simply start fighting with something weird thing in my body (so my lymphatic system works well!). They usually do other tests before the surgery too but it’s more complicated in my case. They told me that there’s no point to do an ultrasound because if there are some small changes the ultrasound won’t show them. Second option is a mammogram but not only that they don’t do it in women as young as me but also (and mostly) in my case it’s just not a good idea because I’m not supposed to have any radiation due to my genetic mutation I already told you about. I mean, if I had an accident or there was no other choice then yes but not in this case. Honestly, I’m in a situation in which I often have to make hard decisions… And about hard decisions, I’m planning to put pictures of me after the surgery and then step by step to the end. I was reading a lot of opinions and other women’s experiences and I know that I could help some with this. So if you feel like sharing my posts on your facebook pages or on some forums for women if you’re on any, it’d be great!!

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I also mentioned before that during one of my visits I got a few things which was awesome. They gave me two heart shaped pillows that I’ll put under my armpits so that I can rest my arms on them instead of on my sore sides. And a belt for drains because they can’t just hang there. A lot of women have to buy these things so I’m glad I got them for free. They were made by some women from the area.

These semi circles go on each side under my arm pits so it’ll be more comfortable to, for example, put a seat belt on.

This is a drain. Part of this tube will be under my skin and the rest will be out. I’ll have four of these – two on each side.

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Right now I’m calm and not stressed and I hope it’ll stay this way. I mean, I’m not stressed about the surgery and recovery because I know I’m in a good shape and everything will be fine. Besides, I trust my doctors and I know I picked the right people to do all that. The weirdest thing is that instead of resting now and pack a few things to the hospital what I’m doing is… cleaning. I’m not a pedant or anything but I know that if I’m stuck on the chair I won’t be able to tolerate a mess. That’s why I’m just putting things away and I even put pictures on the wall in our living room! But I have something that worries me. The biggest thing is that I don’t know how I’ll handle the fact that I won’t be able to take care of April for a while. I thought that well, there’s millions of women who go back to work and leave their babies with their parents or babysitters and they’re fine, they do it because they want to (or have to, I know) and they survive. On the other hand… I know it works for some but it wouldn’t work for me. I don’t want to leave her for I don’t know how long. Especially now when she’s really attached to me a lot. This will be hard.

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I guess the title of this post doesn’t make much sense anymore because it’s too late to keep your fingers crossed but thanks for the positive energy you’re sending to me :). Feel free to follow me on Instagram and snapchat (gusiek.w) where I’ll be more often than here for now.

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Talk to you next time!

Aga

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See also:

+ Prophylactic mastectomy: breast amputation and their reconstruction is NOT a boob job!

+ Pophylactic mastectomy: goodbye my breasts, you served me well!

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