I’m in a relationship with a much older man

After my last post about my perfect husband I received several messages about relationships with older men. I don’t know why you guys went that way because I never talked about it in that post but I thought that I’ll write about this topic now because I have an older man.
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I remember that a long time ago someone added a comment saying that Nathan will eventually realize that there’s no point of being with someone as young as me who doesn’t have any life experiences and he’ll leave me because we’re on two totally different levels. And what, I think two years passed after this comment and we’re still together, still working on problems that life puts in front of us all the time and we even have a daughter who wasn’t a so-called accident.

Someone else added later that if I’m with “someone like this” it means that I care about money only. Because generally accepted standards say that a man should be older than a woman but not too much. Two to four years are fine to be “proper” and to feel comfortable. You know, it’s like this norm that a man must be taller than a woman or else… I don’t know what, they shouldn’t be together. Well, we negate both of these rules.

I think that in tons of cases age doesn’t say anything about a maturity because there are 50-year-olds who act as if they were teenagers and there are 15-year-olds who had more experiences in life than the first ones. I, for example, had to grow up faster than others because of a death of my mother and my favorite uncle three years later. I was always more serious, calmer, I never had as much fun as they did. I wish it was different and that I had a normal childhood but there are things you can’t change, I had no power over it. There are people who are 45 years old and still live with their parents and there are those who are 30 and have their own apartment. I hate putting people in one bag like this and saying that if someone is my age it means they know nothing about the life, they’re “greenhorns”, stupid and so on. And not because they really don’t have experiences but only because they’re 24. You see how it all sounds? It doesn’t make any sense for my taste.

Nathan is 16 years older than me. It’s not a small difference but it’s not a huge one either but it depends on how you feel about it too. I remember at the beginning of our relationship I was wondering if this difference bothered him at all and he said no but there were moments when he wondered what other people think about us when they see us holding our hands or something. It went away fast but you see that there was something. And before that there was a time when he saw me walking in shorts, he facepalmed and thought “Nate, stop it, she was just a teenager!” ;). Did I have any problems with the fact that Nate is so many years older than me? No. I was the first one who said that the age doesn’t mean anything, it’s just a number. And even though I didn’t mean me and him at that point I know that it gave him some kind of a permission to show his interest.

Someone else then said in here that we surely don’t have any common interests and how we can even have the same friends because we grew up in totally different times and some of them are probably my father’s age. It’s true that it happens when Nathan asks “do you remember…” and I look at him and say no, I don’t remember because I don’t even know it, when it was popular I didn’t exist yet. But it’s cool because this way we share what we liked before, what happened when he was a kid and what happened when I was a kid and what he didn’t pay attention to anymore because he was so many years older. And about friends… His friends are awesome and I sometimes go to their office for a visit, they treat me as a person on their lever, not as someone too stupid for them. And there are only two people Nathan’s age, the rest is older. He likes my friends too even though all of them are younger than him and the biggest difference is 20 years.

It all depends on a person, how he is and what he wants from a life and the other person. Each one of you can have your own norms and beliefs but keep them for yourself and don’t put them on others. It’s not my business if some of you is 5 years younger than your girlfriend or some of you have a boyfriend who’s 15 years older. If you’re fine with that I wish you good luck! I feel good with who I’m with and even though he’s 40 he doesn’t sit on the couch with a remote in his hand and slippers on his feet but he still sometimes says something that makes me laugh so that I cry, watch “Magic Mike” with me or go to a concert of a band that he doesn’t listen to but I really wanted to go. It’s all about a personality and not about the date of birth.
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Photo in this post is from my maternity photoshoot :).
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Talk to you next time!
Aga
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glosowanie

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