I have too much on my mind, you know? My calendar is totally full. Thousands of doctors visits, tests, waiting for results, uncertainty. The whole story with my sister… A baby so active that I have to have my eyes all over my head and sometimes it’s not enough. Also, packing and cleaning because we can move in to our new house on Wednesday. (By the way, I’m working on a short series of posts about looking for a new place and everything related!) It’s hard for me to find time for myself only. When it happens it means that April is asleep and I just keep wondering when she’ll wake up and when I’m totally by myself it means I’m probably grocery shopping. There’s a lot, really. The worst thing is that I don’t sleep very well. I mean, it’s fine at night but I wake up around 5-6am and I can’t sleep anymore.
The weirdest thing is that I’m still handling everything and I’m not done yet. I didn’t know I can do that but I can! I have some strange energy and patience and it’s not easy to reach it. I’m glad, on one hand, that it’s like this but on the other one I need to take care of myself too. Earlier I was going to my pole class but I can’t do it yet after my surgery. I also had time during the day for myself but then April wasn’t able to climb up the stairs. And yes, I know I need to buy a gate. And you know what, now it’s 10.39pm and instead of being in the bed I’m sitting in the living room and writing this post. Not because I have to but I want to. I have to make this decision every single night but I’m sure there’s a lot of you who have the same so you understand.
I thought I’d come here to vent, why not! I’m not going to pretend that everything’s great because you know how it is sometimes with life. But it’s all fine, don’t think I’m sad all the time and stuff because I’m not. Not yet and I hope it’ll stay this way.
I just made another decision – I’m finishing this post and going to bed ;). For the end, so it won’t be that negative, I’m adding a photo from when we visited Margie when April was listening to playing Alicia.
Good night and I’ll see you on Monday!
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