My body, my decision

For those who don’t know what was happening in Poland, here you have a picture…

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I never talked about any political things here but this time I can’t and don’t want to ignore it. Even though I don’t live in Poland, this case touched me a lot and I decided to share what I think.

I get very angry reading about what’s happening. I don’t know, where do we live, when? Middle Ages? I understand protecting life, really. The whole idea is totally fine, I won’t fight with that. However, there are limits in everything, I like remembering about them and I wish others would remember about this as well instead of pushing people to think the same way and controlling their lives in every way.

Now the abortion law in Poland is one of the most restrictive in Europe even though they allow abortion in some cases, take a look:

Now, in accordance of the law of family planning, protection of a human fetus and termination of pregnancy, abortion can be done when pregnancy poses a threat to the life or health of a pregnant woman, there’s a high probability of severe and irreversible impairment of the fetus or an incurable illness threatening its life or if the pregnancy is a result of a criminal act, eg. rape.

Who do they want to protect? A life of a human? Quoting words from proposed law, they want to protect it:

(…)from the moment of conception which means connection of a male a female reproductive cells.

You probably know that a male and a female reproductive cells connect in a fallopian tube and they stay there for several days. An embryo travels calmly to uterus and it takes from around 6 to around 12 days. And after that it nests in the uterus and a baby starts developing. The baby doesn’t even feel anything for a long time. And don’t get me wrong because I’m not talking about abortion “because I don’t want this baby”. No, it’s totally not the case here. What I mean is that there are VERY different situations. So what, if the new law will take place, a woman who miscarriages will suffer not only because she lost her baby but also because she’ll be interrogated if she maybe didn’t do it on purpose? This is stupid.

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1. Who’s in favor of banning abortion? 2. Who wants to adopt a disabled child?

A raped woman, for example, can have a trauma for a long time, sometimes forever. Some get better fast and some can’t handle it. There are women who give birth to babies conceived this way and they can’t look at them because they feel disgusted! And there’s nothing wrong with these women, they’re totally normal and healthy but they went through something that left such a huge mark on their mental health. Someone said: it’s not a baby’s fault that a woman was raped so you can’t punish him for it by death. It’d be good to think about this baby’s life when his mother can’t even look at him.

What in a situation when a child is incurably sick, has serious defects, half of a brain didn’t grow and never will? And there was a boy without a part of his brain, it was pretty popular not that long ago. Children with defects like this die soon after they’re born, tons of them suffer during this time, others take heavy medications to help them survive a during this difficult time. They’ll never have a normal life, never will look at the sky, never will feel the wind, some won’t move by themselves, eat by themselves, some can’t even be hugged by their parents. And yes, parents. They play a big role here as well because those are people who sometimes have to sacrifice themselves, if they want it or not. And this can seem terrible to some of you that how I can even say something like this because is a baby and parents love their babies. Yes but, like I already mentioned, there are different situations. Some people really have to forget about everything else and take care of the baby who’s very sick, they’re lonely, broke, with no support, no friends, they don’t go anywhere and so on. Not everyone is able to and not everyone wants to live like this. Some people have to sell everything they have so that they can afford medications and even then they don’t have enough and they need to ask strangers for help.

A friend of my college (here in the US) who I met recently got pregnant after a long time of trying and they were very happy… until one of their ultrasounds. Turned out that their long awaited baby was growing with no limbs and with a serious heart defect. Doctors say that if the baby survive until its birth, he won’t live longer than a day or so and there was no way to do surgery in this case. They decided for an abortion mostly for this baby but also for their own mental health. I think they made a great decision.

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And people who never were in a situation like this and never will, dare to think that they can decide for others and force women to give birth to deformed, dead, seriously sick babies who whether they won’t even see (there was a case in our family that a baby was so deformed that doctors didn’t show it to a mother even though she wanted to see), or will see for a moment and will have to bury the baby. Or they’ll have to sacrifice their whole life for this baby who will suffer every day, who will never smile, will never say anything or will never move. This is ridiculous!!!!!! I’m very disgusted by all of it!

And what’s the explanation of a representative of a committee Stop Aborcji (Stop Abortion) Joanna Banasiuk?

Abortion is a slaughter of innocent children, a hell for women and a moral disgrace of men.

I don’t even want to comment this.

I’m a mother too. I love my daughters and I’m very happy that they’re both healthy. One of them, as you know, was carried by me in my belly for 9 months so I know how it is to have a child with someone you love. I know what it means to take care of someone, sacrifice for someone in some way (because I want to, not because I’m forced to – this is a difference), be worried about someone and so on. I know how it is to be a mom and I think I’m pretty good in it. I remember, however, that at the beginning of my pregnancy when we did tests to see if my baby was developing well, my doctor asked me if a positive result of anything would change my mind. You know what I said? I don’t know. I said that I didn’t know because I wasn’t able to respond to a question if I’d decide to carry a baby who, for example, wouldn’t have a part of a brain, wouldn’t survive to the end of the pregnancy, would have a serious defect. I’m almost sure I wouldn’t decide to do it and I can’t imagine that anyone would want to make this decision for me instead. Also, I can’t imagine not being able to do tests like this.

And this is the other problem… Disallowing of tests like that because there’s a slight risk of a miscarriage in some of them. As someone said, there’d be no point of doing these tests if abortion was banned because it wouldn’t change anything. They should ban ultrasounds too, seriously. I’d like to note here that some of the fetus defects are possible to heal during pregnancy, when it’s still inside and thanks to that a lot of people have healthy children. If it’s banned too, there’ll be no way to help babies who need this help…

I know a girl who at the age of 19 was after three (!) abortions. This is unacceptable. Also, I knew a girl who never used any protection and when someone asked her what she’d do if she got pregnant, she said: what you mean, I’ll do abortion. Some time ago there was a video on YouTube with a woman who works in an abortion clinic. She decided to get pregnant in order to have the procedure done on her and see how it is. I don’t want to have anything to do with people like these, I have no respect towards them whatsoever.

But there are situations when a couple awaiting a baby MUST make a decision like this. There are situations when it’s about a life/health of a baby or/and a mother. There are situations when the government should have NO voice.

That’s why when I found out about the black protest in Warsaw held on Monday, I regretted I was leaving on Monday. Because I’d go. I’d go to support women who are slowly losing a chance to decide about their own body, life, health of them and their baby. I’d support women who are stopping feeling safe in their own country, who are losing their right to speak up in such important matters. To all who went there or who wanted to but couldn’t – a nod of respect from me! As the City Hall of Warsaw said, there was around 30.000 people that day! Protests were held in different parts of the country too.

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The Old Town in Warsaw

Talk to you next time,

Aga

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