A lot of people think that if someone writes a blog where he talks about his life then it means he talks about everything. That there’s nothing he’d keep for himself and all his things are public. He writes or uploads pictures about what and when he eats, who’s he with, why, what for and so on. Million snaps and probably as many pictures on Instagram every day. Yes, there are people like that, mostly youtubers I think who record daily vlogs. I’m not judging here if what they’re doing is ok or not because it’s not my business. If they want to live like this, go for it, I don’t have any problem with it. Does it mean, however, that their readers/watchers can expect that they’ll answer every single question, even those very private ones and then get angry when they get refused? And how’s it with me?
I was talking about my pregnancy, what was happening with me, I posted my belly shots during my pregnancy and after a childbirth. I talked about my problems during school years, I posted about my sister’s sickness, I also talked about our family’s situation. You know that my mom is dead, that now I live with my husband and two daughters, that Margie moved out soon after we got married and that we didn’t live in line for a while.
When some time ago I added on my Instagram a picture with me wearing shorts and a top and then I shared it on the blog, someone had a problem with me being “almost naked”. And really, I was wearing shorts and top. There are people who share their almost naked pictures all the time. Just type #body to your Instagram search and you’ll see. Not mentioning the ones who record everything every single day. Some of them have million subscribers and most of them watch the videos… This is a huge number. Or even the ones who share everything, including details about their marriage arguments, their bank account balance or their sex life. And, on the other hand, there are also people who have a lot of secrets and they hide things from the closest people in their lives.
My intention is definitely not to show you that “other people act worse”. Like I said – everyone does whatever they want and I really don’t care. Unless someone causes me a problem. Otherwise why would I care, really. And if someone posts something that for my taste is very private, I might not like it but it doesn’t threaten me in any way whatsoever. I’ll have a problem if you post something about me that I wanted to keep private without asking me.
Each person has their own limits and I do too. I don’t even post much on my private facebook page. Even then there are people who think that I talk about everything that is happening in my life and there’s nothing here that I keep for myself. But do you know what my favorite song now is? What I did yesterday at noon? Or what I ate for breakfast? Or if I get angry with Nate, or he at me, why, for how long etc? How much I spent on my latest shopping? Do you know details about my childbirth and postpartum time? And I could ask more. What I’m trying to say here is that you don’t know everything about me and you’ll never know. Even Nathan doesn’t know everything. I share what I want to share and if it bothers someone then, damn, what I can do. Apologize? I don’t think so because I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong and I’m certainly not hurting anyone. The only thing I can do is that I can tell you to ignore a part of my text what bothers you or ignore pictures you don’t like and look somewhere else. Also, if I was writing about how my days go only (and believe me, not much is happening) then nobody would read it because how much I can talk about me taking April for a walk, playing cards with Alicia or taking naps.
Several people told me already that I’m selfish because I keep writing about myself only. I always say that yes, I do write about myself because, first of all, this is my blog. Second, I can talk about my own feelings and experiences. Third, it happens rarely that someone’s behavior touches me enough to write the whole post about it. That’s why you don’t read much about Alicia and Nathan and the older April gets the less I’ll write about her because I don’t think it’s ok for me to talk about them not asking for their permission and I don’t feel like asking too often anyway. I’ll never talk about other people’s feelings because I don’t know them well enough and if there’s something important then I don’t want to lead anyone astray.
I’m aware of everything I’m doing and maybe in a few or in over a dozen years I’ll think how stupid I was to share so much. Because you know how it is – if you put something to the Internet, it’ll stay there forever. Maybe I’ll regret, I don’t know, you can’t predict that. Or maybe in a year or two I’ll decide to show you more pictures from my childbirth (I honestly don’t think I will, it’s an example) even though now I think it’s a very private matter and something that I want to keep for myself. Even if this will happen, if I’ll regret, I won’t be hard on myself because I’ll know that then, those years earlier, this was something I wanted to share. This is how the world is, people keep changing and we can never be sure about anything because our thoughts now are thoughts just right now and they can change any time.
Why am I writing about this? Because I heard that some of my family love gossiping about me and they think they know everything and that they can comment the way I am, what I do and so on. Also, not that long ago I got an e-mail from someone who told me that my openness is “ridiculous”. The best thing about it is that this someone tried to be anonymous but it didn’t work ;). And it’s all good, I don’t want to change the way people think and it doesn’t bother me, it’s just that I feel sorry for them and for their boring lives. If it comes to me, you can ask whatever and don’t apologize me for your questions but remember that if I don’t want to answer something, I simply won’t. I’ll never resent you for asking though.
Answering the question from the beginning of my post – everyone can expect whatever they want but I don’t think it’s a good idea because in most cases your expectations won’t be met and so you can get very disappointed.
Talk to you next time,
PS. Yes, I watch those daily vlogs too.