Today’s post is a little different because not only that I didn’t really have time to write it but also in the last week a few things of what happened are something I don’t want to talk about here yet. Everything is just getting more complicated and I sometimes sit down, put my head down and think that I don’t know, I simply don’t know what to do. And this sucks so much, living like you’re stuck, when I don’t know how things will go, if they’ll go back to normal, when and so on. I know I’m talking in general and you have no idea what I mean but I just want to say it out loud for now and the time for the rest will come.
Recently Nathan gave me an idea to find a babysitter for April for a few hours during one day a week so I could do whatever I want and I really liked this idea. I don’t need anyone more often but to be all by myself for a few hours will be great. I’ll sometimes use this time to sleep 😉 and other times I’ll be able to focus on things I can’t focus too much now. And I dropped April off there today morning, then I did one thing and turned out I had some time before the next one so I got back home and I need to go out soon again. To be honest, around 10 minutes after I left her, I felt like crying. And damn, I don’t know, why? This isn’t the first time when I left her with someone but it’s the first time when I reacted this way. As if I felt bad, as if it was giving my own child away. Very weird, huh? And it’s not that I’m with her 24h/7. Yes, I spend most of the time with her but when I go to my class Nate stays with her, I sometimes go out on the weekends by myself and then April stays at home. I don’t know what happened to me this time but I’m going to pick her up earlier than I planned.
I suppose that I’ll add more than two posts a week from time to time. It’s because I have a lot of ideas and I sometimes write three posts at once and then they’ll wait for the right time. Also, I don’t really like being stuck to one schedule because everything can happen. And I got myself stuck like this.
It was a quicky this time 😉 because I need to go so I’m saying bye!
Talk to you next time,
Main photo: letscallitsteve