#37 Breakfast with Aga – life is unfair!

During last week…

…I wrote in this post that I’m tired of you telling me what I should do and so don but then I realized that it sounded kind of bad. Of course I’m not taking it back and my emotions didn’t change but I want to say that I didn’t talk about all of you! I talked about those who really try to force me to change my mind without even trying to understand me and there are only a few.

…I decided which tv series I’ll watch. You might remember that I asked you for recommendations and from all the titles I got, I chose the one that interested me the most – “Grey’s anatomy”! I think that the biggest part of my decision was that I saw a few episodes and I liked them. And I read that there’s a girl named April haha The rest of the propositions is saved on my desktop. Except “Sex in the city” because I saw two or three episodes and they made me so bored.

…I went to my hairdresser. I decided to do something between letting my hair grow and cutting it so I trimmed it the way that you can see a difference but not too much :). And I didn’t do anything with my bangs because I want to let it grow so unfortunately for now I need to stay with it with this terrible length.

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…I was looking for a babysitter for April for four following Tuesdays for 3 hours each of them. Not much and in the middle of the day so I was a little worried that it’ll be hard to find someone. But one woman sent a message to me and said that her husband would be happy to take April for this time. She said that he’s a stay at home dad for two children and she works. Cool! You don’t see that very often :). By the way, I’ll show you a pic of me and April!

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To watch

Mr. Robot! They say it’s a drama/thriller/physiological thriller. And it’s not a movie, it’s a tv series! When we were going to Portland this was one of the available shows they had on our plane so we decided to watch because its description was interesting. In general it’s about a small group of hackers who plan an attack on an international company called Evil Corp (meaningful name, huh?). It’s not easy though and they have a lot of problems on the way… This show keeps me in this cool suspense and some of the situations they show make me think “how could they do it?!”. I highly recommend!

 

To listen

Bishop – “River”. Song from my dance class I really like :).

 

Blog

What happened a year ago?

A little bit about Mother’s Day and busy Alicia. | My thoughts about being an au pair.

***

I’d like to update you on my sister’s situation. The surgery I mentioned before went the way doctors wanted. They didn’t have any complications or anything. However, they found out that, besides the liver, lymph nodes are attacked too and the liver is ruined by the cancer so much that they can’t do any surgery on it anymore and it won’t change. In several days she’s going to another hospital and she’ll have a minimum of 6 months of a chemotherapy. Her doctor told her directly that there’s no way to cure at all and chemo might only slow down or, in the best case, stop further development of the cancer. He also added: “you need to learn how to live with the cancer”.

When I found out all that, I got angry! I wanted to hit the wall! Those doctors who were sending her back home with ibuprofen and advice to change her diet should be in jail for risking health and LIFE of their patient!

And later I got so sad that I cried for hours. And then the question came: why?! Why her, why another person from my family, why cancer, why so late?! Everything is so unfair! And what, I should think positively some will think, because it’ll help my sister and me in some way as well. But I can’t. I can think realistic but I can’t force myself to think that everything will be fine because I don’t know how it’ll be. I don’t want to hear it from anyone either because nobody knows it. Also, you can’t really control your thoughts so even if I wanted to, I’d lie to myself. But I’m so sad and worried!

You might not see this in my posts that there’s something wrong. It’s because I realize that I need to live my life too. And even though I can sit with Nathan and laugh or watch a movie or go to a concert… There’s still this thing sitting on my mind and it’ll stay like this.

And I still have this hope that one day I’ll give my sister a little something with the text you see in the main picture of this post.

Talk to you next time,

Aga

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