Some time ago I thought that I wouldn’t do any Q&A because I’m not an interesting person enough so why bother. It turned out, as you can see, that I did write a post like that. People on YouTube usually say: “this video was highly requested” but I won’t say anything like this because nobody asked me, I decided to do it myself :D.
- Will you teach April Polish language?
I received this question a lot of times and I thought I’d write about it here instead of in private messages only. And it’ll be a longer response including different things so I hope you’ll be satisfied.
I know, believe me, I do realize that tons of people think that if there’s a child in a family where parents speak two different languages, she “should” be bilingual, small children learn faster and also they “should” know their so-called roots and know what influenced their parent the way he is, and so on. These arguments don’t convince me at all and the word “should” even more. I did have a chance to read that I’m a terrible mother and that my kid will resent me for that. Why?
Because I live in the USA and I’m staying here with my family so I won’t teach April speak Polish until she asks me about it first. If she doesn’t ask, I won’t have any problem with it.
Being here I use mostly English in all the forms including thinking, besides writing on my blog or talking to my Polish friends of course. I’m not proud of being Polish (but I’m not ashamed of it!), I don’t have any strong ties with this country, I won’t go back there and I suppose that my trip this year will be the last one unless there will be a funeral or a wedding I’ll want to attend, honestly. I don’t feel any need to teach her Polish history or to pass any Polish traditions, values or beliefs which even I don’t keep. So I don’t think that teaching her Polish is necessary. Also, I don’t want to put stuff into her head and force her to anything.
I do want to say that I’m open and I’m not saying “no” forever so if April ever asks questions about Poland or she wants to learn the language, I won’t pretend I was born in the US and I don’t have anything to do with Poland because it’s not true and it’d be pretty stupid on my part. I won’t control myself either so if I say something like “you know that in Poland…” or if I start talking about my life out there, I won’t stop myself and apologize everyone around.
For the end of this one: Alicia’s father is American, her mother is Chinese. She lives with us here in America, she speaks English and doesn’t speak Chinese. Her mother tried to send her to Chinese class but Alicia doesn’t want to learn this language and if she’s forced to it, she’ll rebel which is completely understandable, in my opinion.
- How did Alicia react to April? Is she jealous?
Alicia was jealous before April was born. She was afraid that nobody will have time for her, that she’ll be the less important one and that we’ll stop caring about her. We talked to her and, speaking very generally (but I can talk about it more if you want), we listened to everything she said and we explained how things would look, more or less. She knew that I’d have less time for her than before but it doesn’t mean that I’ll stop loving her or anything like that. When Alicia saw that all her fears are understood and we were honest saying even those things that she didn’t really like much, she felt better.
There’s no jealousy here at all. Alicia was very happy when she found out that April was born and her excitement in the hospital was amazing. When me and Nate came back from our trip April was the first one who Alicia wanted to see. She really wants to help and I sometimes think it’s a little bit too often ;). We don’t have any problems here.
- Which stores in the US have the best sales if it comes to baby stuff?
I don’t know all the places because I only stayed in my area.
Carter’s is a place with clothing only. They have a lot of different coupons that you get with every visit, they have a program where you collect points and then you exchange them for -$10 and they ALWAYS have most of their products on sale to -50% and sometimes you can find even better sales as well. You get -20% for an online registration and then you receive an e-mail with more coupons from time to time. Most of April’s clothes comes from this place.
BuyBuyBaby also has -20% for the start, you can register for text messages to get more coupons (max 8 texts a month and you don’t get spam). They have a lot of sales that change day by day. There’s everything you need starting with furniture and car seats, through diapers and things for moms, ending with toys, decorations and much more. Prices are pretty good, I think. This is a place where we bought most of our accessories for April and for me.
There’s also Babies’R’us and this is pretty much the same as BuyBuyBaby but they have more clothes and less of other stuff (but still a lot) and it’s more expensive. You can find pretty good things on sales but I wouldn’t really buy almost anything in its original price.
We bought our furniture at Target and it’s worth to check this place out too (we have two -40% coupons for a crib and a dresser!). Carter’s has a special line created for Target and its prices are really good.
It’s obviously worth checking Ross, Marshalls and TJMaxx because these are places you can find great stuff for very good prices. Buying something for mom at Motherhood Maternity you always get some coupon to a place with kids stuff.
- Did it hurt? (labor and delivery)
YES. But I’ll tell you more about it another time :).
- Will you show more pictures of April?
Sure I will post some photos from time to time and maybe some videos too but if you expect to see some weekly/monthly updates about her with pictures and videos then you’ll be disappointed. I don’t want to make decisions about being on the Internet for her when she has no idea what’s going on. I just remembered that one girl on YouTube threatened her 3-year-old daughter that if she’s not nice, she’ll never be on YouTube again and this little girl got scared and she didn’t say a word for the rest of this video… I regret I didn’t save it cause I’d show you now. I don’t know what’s happening with this world.
- Will April be vegan too?
The answer for this question seems so obvious to me – yes, she will. Actually, she’s vegan now because she doesn’t get any animal products with my milk ;). You need to know that she’s developing perfectly, growing a lot, she didn’t lose any weight, she has everything she needs. I want to raise my child the way me and my husband think is the best and most of all the healthiest and for the healthiest diet I take veganism. When April is big enough to understand how it all is about and why we eat what we eat and she still will want to try something different, I won’t force her not to. Until then I won’t introduce her to milk chocolate or ham like people eating meat don’t introduce their children to tofu :).
- Where did you buy a ticket to Poland and for how much?
I bought my tickets on Delta website. When I sit down to get them, they had the same prices everywhere so I decided to go with Delta because this is the airline I travel with most of the time and I always had good experiences. I paid $1.349 for a round trip with one stop there and one stop back. There were cheaper tickets but with two or more stops and I didn’t want more than one. Two weeks earlier there were tickets with one stop for $700-800 and unfortunately I didn’t buy them then which I regretted later. Flights during holiday seasons or summer time are always more expensive and when I was choosing seats on my flights (I paid more for better ones) planes were already almost full. Also, flights from Atlanta to Poland are usually more expensive than from, for example, New York where you can find tickets for $400 for a round trip. What’s more, there’s no direct flights from ATL to Poland.
Websites I visit to look for flights: momondo.com, kayak.com, cheapflights.com, google.com/flights and delta.com.
- What was your English like when you went to the US to become an au pair?
There’s no way to say exactly how it was. I’d say… Very good in writing, reading and listening and average in speaking. When you’re here, you learn A LOT and very, very fast. To become an au pair your English language has to be communicative and that’s enough. You’re allowed to make mistakes and to not know grammar very much.
- How did your family react when you told them that you’re staying in the States for good?
Actually I didn’t really inform anyone because I don’t keep in touch with my family. I mean, I do with my sister but she actually wishes me all the best and she’s happy that I’m happy. And the rest? I know that some of them think that I’m a terrible and selfish person because I left my sister and I don’t even help anyone and I have so much money that I should help, in their opinion. Not my problem though. I didn’t talk to them so I didn’t have any problems and I don’t miss. It all helped me with staying here, it was easy.
I guess people asking this question are the ones who are close with their families so they’re afraid of reactions they might get. I think that even though we’re very close with our family members we still need to remember that we have our own life and nobody else will live it for us. We are the ones who have to make our own decisions and we have to learn on our own mistakes. Of course in case of living so far away there’s missing them and they’re worried but until you try, you won’t know.
- Is it possible to see you when you’re in Poland?
Sure! If anyone would like to, feel free to message me but I don’t promise I’ll see everyone. Also, I’ll be in Warsaw and I’m not planning on traveling around.
- What were you thinking about Nathan before you got to the States?
I was thinking that he seemed to be a very friendly and honest man who extremely loved his daughter and who knew what he wanted from life. If there’s a hidden message in this question like “were you interested in him” then no, I wasn’t. Around that time I even told you here on the blog that he wasn’t my type which he read later and he still remembers ;).
- Will you tell us how your relationship with Nathan started?
I had this question a lot of times and I always say I don’t want to talk about details because it’s a private thing for me. As you probably can guess, things were different than they are usually because we didn’t see each other on the street, we didn’t exchange phone numbers and start dating. We lived together from the very beginning, even when we weren’t a couple! So I’ll answer this question shortly but truthfully – our relationship started from our talk and walk :).
- How do you feel?
Well, thanks :)). The fact that I keep saying I don’t have time doesn’t mean I feel bad! Everything is under control.
- What do you like the most in the States?
People :). They’re kind, open, relaxed, helpful, they smile a lot… And I can talk more and more. The difference between the atmosphere on the streets here and in Poland is huge and I really wish that Poles would take something from Americans if it comes to the way they are. Then nobody would think “such an idiot!” when seeing someone smiling and saying “hi”… Of course, I do realize that not all the Polish people are gloomy and depressed, and not all Americans are open and relaxed! I’m talking in general and from my experience – it can be different from yours.
- Don’t you feel bad that you’re a housewife and you get everything for free?
I have no idea if there’s only one person with different nicknames who keeps asking this question or there’s more of you but I got it a few times already. I’m going to answer it once but firmly and I’ll ignore it each time I see it again. I’m a stay at home mom and no, I don’t feel bad about it. And there’s nothing free in life.
- I think that’s all for today :). Anything else I should talk about?
Talk to you next time!