I was inspired to write this post by some YouTube channel. I like watching it but the problem is that their audience is respected only when they agree with whatever it is in the video, when they like everything and when they add positive and even adoring comments. Saying in videos or writing on blogs that if someone doesn’t have anything nice to say then shouldn’t say anything happens as well and not only in their case. But when it happens that someone says simple “I didn’t really like this video”, “I feel bored now” or gives a thumb down, he’s called a hater and other people attack him because they have this feeling they need to protect their idols and often even authors themselves get involved saying that if someone doesn’t like something then shouldn’t watch or that it’s just a hate and they remove comments.
And this is what I wanted to talk about here for a moment because I think people get everything mixed up…
Every single person who writes a blog or has a YouTube channel obviously can moderate comments and this is their business only what they’ll accept and what they won’t accept. They can tolerate positive comments only and remove the rest if they decide to do that. But I think that if someone decides to be on the Internet then they have to remember that there will be people who don’t like their work, whatever it is. And people are free to not like everything because everyone is different and everyone has their own taste. The difference lays in a way you share your opinion.
And here things get complicated. It happened a loooot of times in different places that I would read normal comments with no aggression, without calling names or judging and so on – someone wanted to be honest and share his opinion which I value a lot. Unfortunately people like that read in responses that they’re so rude, what they’re even doing out there and they’re just haters. And then I wonder… What is it all about? Recently I answered a question “what you think about this song” on some website and I said that I don’t like Adele’s new song (honestly, I don’t like any of her songs). The response I got was that I’m stupid, I have no taste and I surely listen to Justin Bieber all the time :). I ignored that. Not mentioning other places where I share my opinion that some other people didn’t like so instead of talking about it, I was insulted and someone even told me not that long ago that he saw that his comment hurt me! Nope, I just don’t talk with people like this because I don’t like wasting my time. And there’s the question I haven’t found any answer for yet – why do people react so aggressively toward others with different opinions? Any ideas?
A person who comments things is someone who shares his opinion in a normal way, who doesn’t have to like everything and agree with everyone. Who’s able to be honest and say “I don’t like this or that” not forcing his own opinions on others and not teaching others, insulting them, arguing with them that he’s the only one who’s right and the rest is just stupid. He can get involved into a discussion.
Hater is someone who does everything that the person above doesn’t do. The thing is that this person has problems with herself. She’s on the Internet just because she wants to get on other’s nerves, writes not that nice and often offensive comments. A lot of people think and don’t understand it that she gets the pleasure out of watching what they’re not interested in just to later insult some people. However, I think that this pleasure is a little bit different. She’s not here to waste her time on stupid things. She needs help! And she gets this help from other’s reactions because she then thinks: oh, he/she felt what I feel all the time! They have other’s attention for a moment and they don’t get it in a real life. She’s not accepted by others in some way, she doesn’t have a chance to share her opinion among her friends or family because she’s instructed or worse, so she’s looking for other possibilities to feel better. And it helps them – the awareness that someone else feels the same like she does and others feel attacked and try to protect themselves which doesn’t really work because they meet further problems. On one hand she feels good thinking she’s anonymous but on the other one I think she’d like someone to know who she is so she could be more understood. Getting involved in discussions like that doesn’t really make sense, in my opinion, because they never end and each person starts to get nervous and everything goes bad. Is it possible to help them? Yes, of course it is. But I don’t want to do that because it’d take A LOT of time and energy.
By the way, correcting someone’s mistake is not a hate. Telling someone “I liked you better with your old haircut” is not a hate. Neither is “I start getting bored by those videos”. And more.
And why is she talking about this, you’ll ask. Well, because I want someone of you to realize that not everyone has to like everything and agree with everything, and that comments are there to share your opinions even when it’s different than other’s. And also, to inform some of you that so-called haters’ comments in most cases aren’t for serious but to get other’s very needed attention which you just ignore/remove if you don’t want to help this person.
How I see this is that comments I don’t accept are the ones in which people insult me, my readers or friends, or accuse me of things. If you don’t do it and you share your negative opinion in a normal way, I’m more than open to talk about this but I’ll end it when I don’t feel respected :).
And that’s all for now. I’m going to bake some doughnuts.
Talk to you next time,
Aga, o czym chcielibyście posłuchać w następnym moim filmiku ;)? Jeśli macie jakieś pytania (au pair, życie w Stanach, moje życie, itp.) lub inne pomysły to piszcie śmiało gdziekolwiek, gdzie tylko będę mogła to zobaczyć.