Early end of au pair program. | Several last days.


Today I’m coming with a “everything and nothing” kind of post! I was thinking that I might add some pictures but then I realized that I don’t take any pics lately because, well, what kind of pictures to take… Okay, let’s do it! A song for the beginning! But which one…


I received several questions about consequences after getting married while being au pair and also I saw a lot of doubts on the Internet so I thought I’d share my story with you 🙂 Short and to the point!

Some of you might know that I arrived to the US as au pair on November 4th, 2013 with Au Pair Care agency. I extended my stay for the second year even though me and Nathan were already a couple because only then I could stay in the country legally. My second year was supposed to end on Nov 4 this year. In this case I had to send an information about when I want to go back to Poland by the end of September and they say that in case of being late au pairs have to pay a $100 fee. Moreover, I really didn’t want to receive any more messages from the agency so I was just waiting for a moment when I could tell them that I wanted to leave the program. And so I sent an e-mail that I want to leave since I already have my Green Card. In response, I got an information that if I want to do it with no reasons and consequences, I should give them the address of a place I’m going to stay in and send them a copy of my Green Card or of a confirmation of application acceptance. And that’s all. After I sent the copy of this confirmation, my program was ended in the same day. I even got congratulations from people from the agency about creating a new family 😉 And the day after that I learned that my Area Director doesn’t work there anymore. I’m curious if these things have anything to do with each other.

How agencies look at getting married while being au pair and having a J-1 visa? If it comes to law or something, getting married with the J-1 visa doesn’t break any laws so don’t worry. Whereas, if it comes to agencies then, well, there’s everything explained in agreements and, by the way, I’ll tell you that I’m surprised that so many au pairs don’t read their agreements… Anyway, one of the points in the agreement with Au Pair Care (but from what I know it’s the same in all the agencies) says that au pair agrees not to enter into any contracts – religious, civil (including marriages), etc. during the program. In case of breaking this one (or any other ones too) au pair is removed from the program and has to go back to her/his home country. It’s because the agency sends a notification to Department of State and they cancel a DS-2019 form because it’s not needed anymore. Without this form, J-1 visa isn’t valid so in a situation like this au pair would stay in the USA illegally and the agency can’t agree for that especially because everyone already knows about this au pair. However, I found out that you can settle everything amicably but only when you can stay in the country legally, which means only when having documents allowing to do so.


The first day of school in Georgia was on August 7 so soon it’ll be a month of Alicia going to the first grade. In general, our plan was different about her school (I might talk about this one day) but things got complicated so she went to a public elementary school, seven minutes from our house. She says it’s cool, she likes children and she’s happy in general. One thing she doesn’t like is getting up early – so obvious, who likes it?! – and the length of classes because it’s 6,5 hours every day. And how much homework they give them! When I saw it for the first time, I was shocked and I think it’s definitely too much. That’s enough for those 6 year olds sit in one position on chairs for so long but then they spend so much time with that homework at home…  That sucks, I hate it! I’m not surprised that kids don’t like it either. Suddenly, their whole childhood was taken away from them. It sound terribly, doesn’t it? But you know what’s good? They don’t have to carry million books and notebooks to school. Alicia has only her lunch, a toy and that’s all. Other stuff is at school and parents didn’t have to pay for anything. And you know what Alicia did today morning? She usually comes to me and she lays by me or I do her hair, or something. And today she asked how’s my baby and so I said well, it’s okay I think but I don’t feel well. She said OK, she’d be back. She went downstairs, then she got back and then she gave me a blanket in case my cover wasn’t enough, water to drink, a slice of bread to snack and a toy rabbit to keep me some company after they leave 🙂


Do you know what I do in my free time that I have a lot lately? Besides sleeping and watching tv series and movies, of course. I play The Sims! Cool. I think it’ll be my first time to fulfill all life desires of my Sims. I also bought yarns and I want to start knotting 😀 My mom and grandmother used to do it and I could do that too but it was so long ago! I’m glad there’s YouTube where I can find a lot of tutorials because it’ll be easier. If I make something cool, I’ll show you. If not then I’ll show you anyway 😀

OK, that’s all. I feel like eating grapes so I need to take a tour to my refrigerator.


Talk to you next time!


  • Apple

    Hi. I am an au pair who ran away from my host becAuse of their behavior. I always worked more than the hours everyday. So I decided to run away from other country but I told them that I got married which is not true. Do you think my J1 visa has been cancelled already? Can I not go back to US and marry my boyfriend there using my J1 visa? Thank you

    • Aga

      First of all, I’m sorry that your au pair experience didn’t work out!
      If you told them that you’re married and you ran away from them and now you’re outside the States, your J1 visa is most likely cancelled. You can’t go back on the same visa since you’re not an au pair anymore. If you have a boyfriend here in the States the best way to be with him is to apply for a fiancée visa that will require you to get married within 90 days after arrival to the US but waiting for this visa might take a long time. You can also try a tourist visa if you like.

  • Nany2050

    Hi, thanks for your post!
    I’m an aupair and I want to marry my bf. I finish my second year in February 2016. But, I want to get married before the year ends. I wanted to know if you kept working until you got the green card and how did you handled the situation with your host parents.

    • Aga

      Hi! My situation is a little different because I married my ex-host dad. So we were in it together, there was no need to worry what to do with a host family. What I did was that we got married in February 2015, two months later sent an application for a Green Card and when I got accepted (the end of July) I sent an e-mail to my agency saying that I want to end my program because I have a Green Card already. They asked me to send them a copy of it and that was it, they ended my program the day after.
      I recommend that you send an application for your card and, if you want to, end the program when you get a confirmation that they’re working on your case and you have your alien number. You get this letter around 2-3 weeks after sending an application.
      It’s against the rules so I’m not giving you any advice on it but it’s surely possible to work as an au pair while being married since nobody will really know if you don’t tell them.

      • Nany2050

        Thank you so much for your response. I think I’ll follow your recommendation to avoid problems😊. Cool blog BTW

      • Aga

        You’re welcome and thanks! 🙂 Good luck!

      • eric

        Hi, i dated a girl from brazil but i was in military and lost contact but it was a great experience. Can you help me on how i can meet au pairs in the united states to date and possibly marry? American women just dont do it for me.

      • Aga

        Sorry, I can’t help you, I don’t know where you can meet au pairs who look for a marriage.

  • lina

    hi, Aga

    hope you doing well and you babes too.
    is so nice from you helping with your advice and sharing you history. helps a lot.

    well, im an au pair in second year, i will get marry in two weeks, my year and contract with the host family ends in December, they dont know im gonna get marry yet. but i feel i have to tell them before they find out in other way.
    im worry because i have been listen the if i got marry the next months i can’t work more with the host family because my visa j1 is cancel and that means will be ilegal to work to the family.
    so my questions are,
    1. do you know if the agency will know that i got marry, they will find out my j1 visa was cancel because i get marry. should i tell the agency. or better no.
    2. should i talk to the h family what i gonna do and try to explain that i can’t work more because will be ilegal, but if they dont have problem with that i will continue with them till the end, but better dont talk with the agency, keep secret between family and me… i do know they need me the host dad is gone to Europe for job is only the mom is now so she really need me this last three months.

    • Aga

      Well the department of state’s rules say that an au pair, while in the program, isn’t allowed to get married and this will cause her to be removed from the program. If the agency removes you from the program they send a notification to the department of state and they cancel your ds-2019 form so your visa isn’t valid anymore.
      However, if you don’t tell the agency that you got married, nobody will know. I got married in February 2015 and even changed my name, got my green card at the end of July and then sent an e-mail to the agency saying that I want to cancel my program because I’m already a legal resident since I have my green card.
      I think if I were you I would wait for when I’m married and when my green card application is sent. Then you can stay in the US as long as they’re working on your case without a worry that something might get bad and you might have some problems. If your host mom decides that she wants to keep you even when you’re married, you can do it as long as the agency doesn’t know. I think if you should talk to her or not depends on you and your relations with her.

      • lina

        thanks so much. 🙂 for now. maybe later i will keep asking you . really thanks so much.

  • lina

    hi, sorry other little question.

    after i get marry how long ( days – months) take to I can send my green card application? when i have to start with that ?
    when i can ask for the permission to work is true that come after 3 months i got marry ?
    how is all that process i now is kind long but can you give me an idea please.?

    thanks so much.

    • Aga

      Your green card application can be sent whenever, even a day after you get married. How much time you have for that – I’m not sure. I read that you have 90 days after you get married to send the application and someone told me that there’s 6 months. You’d have to call USCIS and make sure about that. I recommend you start as soon as you can because it’ll be easier, you can easily download all the forms you need from the USCIS website and start filling them. I posted the whole list of forms you need here – http://www.againamerica.com/pl/2015/04/25/aplikowanie-o-zielona-karte-po-slubie-z/ – it’s in Polish but you’ll see which forms and I posted them out there too (you need to click on “KLIK” to see them). What took me the most time was getting list of my vaccines I received in my life and my birth certificate, and translating them into English. Also, you’ll need to go to a doctor with one of the forms.
      When you send your application you send a form for a permission to work as well. I can’t tell you how much time it takes them to send you a card that allows you to work because it varies.
      Also, it varies how much time it’ll take to have an interview, it depends on where you live, how many applications there are and so on. It took me 3 months only which is a very short time, I live in Atlanta. It takes longer in Chicago or New York.
      If you have any other questions, feel free to ask!

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